Bungy Jump.

Warning, OUTRAGEOUS is a series of filth, swearing, insanity and gross images. The easily offended (and not so easily) and anyone under about 35 should stop reading right now!


I once watched this bloke doing his first bungy jump beside the river Thames in London and all of his personal belongings fell out of his pockets into the the water and his wallet floated away. I laughed until I was sick. It would have been even funnier if he had hit his head on the concrete pier as well. Especially if it happened to be a charity jump and all of his sponsors were there to witness his spectacular dive.

I expect the bungy jump operators would have been forced to leave their luckless punter’s corpse dangling in the breeze while they waited for the police and an expert doctor to arrive and no doubt the people in the queue would have been really pissed off at the delay as they waited for their turn. That would have been hysterical as well. Don’t think I could have stood that much frivolity.

Mind you, if they wanted to make sure he was correctly dead and not delay the other idiots waiting to waste their hard-earned money risking life and limb for no better reason than showing off in front of their girlfriends, they could have taken his trousers down and burned his testicles with matches. No bloke with a single breath left in him could refrain from twitching given that treatment. I know I always do.

Swan Vestas are best for bollock burning because you can light them on anything.

A blow torch does the trick as well, but a lot faster. So I hear.


About tonyjayg

I'm a great bloke. That's all you need to know. ;)
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