News Headlines

Warning, OUTRAGEOUS is a series of filth, swearing, insanity and gross images. The easily offended (and not so easily) and anyone under about 35 should stop reading right now!

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Here are some news headlines I hope for, pray for and dream about. They would certainly put a smile on my cheeky little chops…

“TONY AND CHERIE BLAIR HUNG BY ANGRY MOB”

“CAMERON AND CLEGG HUNG BY ANGRY MOB”

“STRAW AND PRESCOTT HUNG BY ANGRY MOB”

“MANDELSON AND OSBOURNE HUNG BY ANGRY MOB”

“ROTHSCHILD AND ROCKEFELLER HUNG BY ANGRY MOB”

“BP AND BANK OF SCOTLAND EX HEADS HUNG BY ANGRY MOB”

“BARONESS VARSI AND ANJEM CHOUDHARY HUNG BY ANGRY MOB”

“CABLE AND GOVE HUNG BY ANGRY MOB”

“472 MPs HUNG BY ANGRY MOB – REST TARRED AND FEATHERED”

“HOUSE OF LORDS FLEE ANGRY MOB WITH ROPES”

“VAN ROMPUY AND SEVERAL DOZEN OTHER FASCIST EU DICTATORS HUNG FROM FLAG POLES OUTSIDE BRUSSELS PARLIAMENT BY ANGRY GIGGLING MOB”

“THATCHER AND SON MARK HUNG BY ANGRY MOB – FINALLY”

“TED HEATH DUG UP AND HUNG BY ANGRY MOB”

…Um, seems to be a bit of a theme developing in my list of imaginary headlines. Don’t want to appear to have a one track mind so how about:

“BRITISH PRINT AND BROADCAST MEDIA PROMISE NEVER TO MENTION KATIE PRICE KERRY KATONA OR THEIR PARADE OF POINTLESS MENFOLK EVER AGAIN AS THEY HAVE ALL BEEN HUNG BY AN ANGRY MOB”

I tried not to add that last bit, but couldn’t resist. And finally:

“LOUIE SPENCE NOT HUNG BY ANGRY MOB BUT TOLD TO GO THE FUCK AWAY THE IRRITATING MINCING PILLOCK”

I don’t suppose I will ever really see any of these headlines except in my imagination, but it doesn’t half cheer me up to think about all those fuckers swinging from trees and lamposts.

…And never having to clap eyes on that nails-down-a-blackboard, screaming idiot Louie Spence ever again, of course. I live in hope.

 

 

 

 

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About tonyjayg

I'm a great bloke. That's all you need to know. ;)
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13 Responses to News Headlines

  1. microdave says:

    β€œTED HEATH DUG UP AND HUNG BY ANGRY MOB”
    That’s the best one – he is the traitorous bastard who took us into the EU…

  2. Harry Hook says:

    No… I still can’t find anything that is offensive.

  3. Nope…… that’s not at all offensive, Tony…….. I’ll bring some piano wire for Blair & Brown to add to the fun, ooh……. and a chainsaw! πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜› πŸ˜›

  4. Groompy Tom says:

    Where do I sign up to be part of the angry mob?

  5. Ed P says:

    Not offensive – my wish list too. But boringly, it should be hanged, not hung.

  6. The Man With Many Chins says:

    Excellent!

  7. tonyjayg says:

    I put the this is offensive warning at the top of most posts as someone is always waiting to take offence. As for it should be “hanged” likely correct, but hung is the past participle and as I’m hoping to read about what happened yesterday, well… Besides, I think it reads better and is more abrupt, bit like when the trapdoor swings open under their traitorous feet.

  8. Hangman says:

    Yes i do find something offensive……
    ……..you left the one eyed traitor Brown off the list !!

  9. denny says:

    Brilliant. I am okay Tony. I will be in touch. Typing on my phone.. xx

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