Interviewing Katie

My next guest on Yawn at Dawn is a glamour model, author, singer, mother to a disabled child, media celebrity and now the subject of a planned Hollywood movie based around her own colourful life.

Born Katrina Amy Alexandria Alexis Infield, her career has been controversial, her private life a roller coaster of loves won and lost and the paparazzi have followed her every step of the way. Yes, formerly known to the British tabloids as Jordan, please give a big Yawn at Dawn welcome to Katie Price!

(Pause for canned applause and cheering)

Good morning Katie and thank you for join…

I’ve got a book out.

Ah, yes, we’ll get to that in…

It’s in book shops now. And Smiths.

I see and…

And Tesco and Sainsbury.

Right, so you…

I don’t think it’s in Ryman’s, though, they only sell blank paper, pens and stuff like that.

Straight in with the plugs, Katie, ha ha, you certainly don‘t waste any…

And paper clips and them ink things for printers. It probably would have been in bargain buckets in Woolworths next week, but they’ve gone bust and I’m still here. Who’s had the last laugh now? The Pricey, that’s who.

You have indeed. Now, you’ve already published a number of autobiographies, so what part of your life does your latest book cover?

2009.

2009?

Yeah, 2009, cause my other books done all the other years and stuff.

Right. Well, there have been accusations that you didn’t actually write any of your previous books yourself and no doubt the same claims will surface with this new one. What do you say to that?

That’s well out-of-order, that is. I writ all of them and the new one n‘all. I admit I had a bit of help with the first chapter and the last chapter, but apart from that and the twenty-two chapters in the middle, I done all of it myself.

I suppose this book will be covering your recent marriage and break up with Alex Reid?

It does talk about my marriage, but I’m saving my heartache divorce hell for the next book. I’ve already writ it actually and it should be in book shops next week.

The press and magazines had a field day with your wedding to…

And Tesco and Sainsbury.

…with your wedding to Alex. Did it bother you that people were saying it was over the top and tacky?

The Pricey makes tacky classy, mate. Classy!

So when did you start referring to yourself in the third person?

Eh?

Never mind.

What?

Just a little joke.

The Pricey don’t get it.

Well, um, moving on. Can you tell us a bit about why your marriage to Alex came to an end so soon?

The whole tale of my divorce heartache hell will be in the new book what I’ve just writ, but basically, he got too big for his boots. All the attention, winning celebrity Big Brother and the press coverage and everything went to his head. He started banging on like he was some big star or something, but I told him, you’d be nothing without me. Nothing! Alex would never have got famous in the first place if he hadn’t been with me.

So you’re saying he only got with you so he could steal some of your limelight?

Lime what?

Some of your fame…

Oh, yeah, he got all this attention because he was my man and started thinking he was like as famous as me and stuff. Now we’ve split up, though, where is he now? Nowhere, that’s where. Nowhere! So who had the last laugh? The Pricey, that’s who.

So with one book on the shelves now and another due out any time, what’s next for Katie Price?

Well, I’ve just started writing my next book, which should be in the book shops in time for Christmas. And in Smiths.

Apart from your heartache break up with…

And Tesco and Sainsbury.

…with Alex Reid, what part of your life will this new epic be covering?

2010.

2010?

Yeah, and maybe a bit of 2011. And my Hollywood film will probably take up quite a bit of my time n‘all.

In relation to that, former super model Janice Dickinson has made some rather unkind remarks. She is quoted as saying you look like a beached tuna, that you have no chance of making it in America, that you couldn’t act your way out of a paper bag and have no discernible talent whatever. What are your thoughts on that?

That washed up old hag, what does she know? Calls me a beached tuna, but have you seen the state of her? Stupid cow’s just jealous. Anyway, I never said I was going to be acting in my film. I want Megan Fox to play my part because she’s stunning like what I am. When the movie’s, like, in the can, the DVD will be on sale in Smiths. And Tesco and Sainsbury. Not in bookshops, though. They don’t sell DVDs. Just books.

Well, on that bombshell, that’s nearly all we have time for this morning. Thanks for coming in to talk to us today, Katie.

Yeah, cheers. Don’t forget, my book is in the shops now, folks, and my DVDs and CDs. Or you can buy them from my website.

Tomorrow my guest will be Tony Blair’s sister in law, Lauren Booth and we will be discussing her recent conversion to Islam. So from me and Katie it’s…

And Tesco and Sainsbury.

…a Yawn at Dawn very good morning to all our listeners. Goodbye!

 

 

 

 

 

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About tonyjayg

I'm a great bloke. That's all you need to know. ;)
This entry was posted in Funny-Peculiar. Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to Interviewing Katie

  1. Heather says:

    lol You just reminded me why I don’t watch daytime TV:-) Very well written

  2. Dioclese says:

    Strange, but I always thought that in order to write an autobiograhy, you first had to have a life?

  3. Gerwaine says:

    Good stuff mate,do you read Seth Godin’s blog.Has great tips on publishing yourself.

  4. tonyjayg says:

    Not seen his blog, but I’ll take a look. Thanks for the tip!

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