I’ve got the hots for two ladies…

One is the Hotel Inspector off the telly, Alex Fabrizzi (or a surname that sounds a little less like an air freshener which currently escapes me), the other is Victoria Coren, poker player, journalist and novelist. What they have in common is being feisty, funny, sardonic, articulate and highly intelligent. Which proves I am not a man who is in any way threatened by clever, independent women.

I would revel in having a long intellectual conversation with either one of them. Failing that, I would play strip poker with Victoria and get Alex to inspect my bedroom. Vic would win at poker, no doubt, and Alex would tell me my bedroom was a shithole, but I’m prepared to take that risk.

Difficult to choose between them as they are both so intriguing and attractive. Victoria has a sexy, gravelly voice, which rings my bell, but Alex definitely has the best pair of jugs and probably gets hotel rooms for free. Alex also has dark, flashing eyes and dimples in her cheeks when she smiles, which I’ve always been a sucker for.

I’m just waiting for her to call. Any minute now I expect. Hope Victoria isn’t too disappointed, bless her. There’s only so much of me to go around girls. Sorry.

Then again, if the two of them don’t mind sharing, I could die a very, very, very happy man. A three-handed game of strip poker – one opponent blond the other dark – in a hotel room thrown in gratis by the management, with a hot tub and room service…

Life doesn’t get any better than that, does it?

Who? Katie Price, aka Jordan, are you mad? I wouldn’t borrow yours and do that tripehound. No, I’ve made my choices thanks and I’m sticking with them.

 

Advertisements

About tonyjayg

I'm a great bloke. That's all you need to know. ;)
This entry was posted in Funny-Peculiar. Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to I’ve got the hots for two ladies…

  1. Avril says:

    I have dark flashing eyes, Tone. Problem is I have wrinkles, not dimples, in my cheeks when I smile 😦
    Still, it proves I’ve smiled a lot :-))))

  2. tonyjayg says:

    I can’t say too much about wrinkles these days Avril. Mirrors in well lit rooms are my enemy!

  3. Dioclese says:

    Personally, I quite like the look of Mary Portas but according to the Pink List, she swings the other way. Seems a waste…

  4. Dioclese says:

    Mrs D reckons Freddie Mercury was one hell of a waste. But she clearly has no taste as she settled for me!

  5. tonyjayg says:

    Dioclese, maybe we both just have a thing for stern women… lol

  6. Denny says:

    @Avril, the dark eye part made me laugh.

    Tone, funny how we are so different in what we hope for. You know the book Men are from Mars and Women are From Venus? Well, yes I would hope for a gratis room with the hot tub although I would crave to be alone. Maybe some candles lit. An ashtray and a glass of wine would be my threesome. Oh What I would give …

    • tonyjayg says:

      Denny, I can have an empty tub, candles and all that stuff any time I like. Some female company has been thin on the ground for too many summers, however. 😉

  7. Maverick says:

    Victoria Coren … defo !!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s